This is my last blog post. Am I sad? relieved? conflicted? I honestly cannot arrive at a conclusion. I’ve loved having to remind myself once a week to reflect on the previous days but I’m also incredibly lazy. Looking back at my three posts, I noted that I tend to reflect and write about the past. While it’s important to appreciate the passing moments, I can’t help but look to the future as well. Throughout this trip, I’ve reminded myself to be grateful for the past and to be present in the moment, but I’ve failed to look forward to what’s to come.
In the near future, I hope to finish our film project. Hours and hours of work put into planning, filming, editing, planning again, filming again, and editing again have blurred the finish line. I would not say I am frustrated or discouraged, because if anything requires my time and care it’s the story Thembi has entrusted us with, but I am definitely tired.
I got my first migraine in weeks today. While the migraine was certainly not welcome, it was a happy reminder of what usually comes after these migraines. They’re the same migraines I would get before playing a big soccer game, and the same migraines the week before finals, the same migraines while applying to Yale. I can’t help but feel hopeful.
In the far future, I hope to work even more. In the span of two days, I’ve decided to change my major, double major, film 4-5 documentaries, and potentially have a six credit semester. Oh, and start a production company with Lucy. I am more than excited. Whether I will accomplish everything I want sophomore year is completely up to me, and quite honestly it scares me a little.
I have never doubted my love for film, but I can’t help but constantly remind myself of my lack of experience. My time as a filmmaker can be comprised of the year I spent messing with a Canon AE-1 I bought myself in seventh grade and the four hours I spend watching the Oscars every year. So, I guess it’s time to get to work. I can’t wait to get migraines, make mistakes, and one day make it to the Oscars, even if it’s only to fan Meryl Streep on the red carpet.
(Sidenote: Mexican filmmakers have won five of the last six Best Director Oscars. Is this pertinent to the post? I don’t know, but I just feel like everyone needs to know that.)